I'm watching the local news. It's as amateur as you can imagine...no, actually worse. Ten-year-old kids couldn't do a worse job of missing cues, dead air, dead mics and flubbed lines. I'm convinced their audio engineer is deaf. But the ads on the station are even worse.
In the last break there was a spot for a law firm. It featured some old guy in a shiny suit so pumped with botox that he looked like he was going to explode. He was telling us about his great news...the law firm just bought a toll-free number that is so easy to remember you won't ever have to go to the phone book again to look up their number. Wow! Now THAT'S a competitive advantage, right? I took note of the name of the law firm, because I was very interested in seeing what this phenomenally easy-to-remember number was going to be. It was the Crawford Law Firm. (Of course the commercial didn't say a thing about what kind of law they practice or why you might ever actually need to call them, but I guess they were so excited about their news that it didn't matter.)
OK, the Crawford Law Firm. Their new toll-free number: 1-866-CALL-BRAD WHAT?
Who the hell is Brad? Is this guy Brad Crawford? I have no idea! And aren't phone numbers seven digits? CALL-BRAD is eight. And was it 866, or 888 or 800? I really can't remember.
Typical talking-to-myself advertising. Stupid.
But I think the best part was what came next. After this man just finished bashing the need for the Yellow Pages now that he has this new, magical phone number - the next commercial on the station was for, yep, the local Yellow Pages directory!
Priceless!
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