Friday, January 25, 2008

A Cynical Prophesy

I freely admit I am a horrible cynic. I suspect people's motivations on just about everything. Sometimes I wrong, but I find myself right more often than not. I think in this case, it's a sure thing.

Dennis Kucinich just dropped out of the 2008 presidential race. It won't be long now before his wife, Elizabeth, drops out of the marriage.

I don't care what anybody says. She did not marry Kucinich for any reason other than the possibility that one day she might be this country's First Lady. Look at her! She's tall, beautiful, intelligent, well-educated...she's done more things and been more places that most people do in their entire lives. Long red hair, pierced tongue, fantastic legs, freckles. Plus she's 30 years younger than he is! 30 years! Is this woman going to now be content to go back to Cleveland (yes, Cleveland!) and spend the next 20 or so years watching Dennis grow old? No. She took her shot and it didn't work. Soon she'll realize it's time to move on and find her next pathway to power and fame.

She won't do it right away, because it would just be too obvious. The press would have a field day. TMZ would be there yelling out inane questions and Bill O'Reilly would start calling her while he pleasures himself in the shower. But after things cool off. After the elections are over and the focus has left Mr. and Mrs. Kucinich, you can be certain Elizabeth will be calculating her next moves. And they don't involve staying in Cleveland.

This is a sure thing. Bet on it if you wish. You heard it here first.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Today's News

I made the mistake of trying to find out what's going on in the world today. This is what I discovered:

Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger war in Iraq Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger presidential elections Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Paris Hilton defends Britney Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Nancy Grace Investigates: Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger Heath Ledger

We are such a sorry, sick society.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Voice for the Uninsured


The AMA (American Medical Association) has a wonderful new program called "Voice for the Uninsured." It focuses on the fact that 1 out of 7 people in the United States does not have medical insurance. This comes to 47 million people, 20% of which are children.

Complete information about this program can be found here.

They are promoting the program with a television campaign. It features a number of medical personnel who slowly come together in front of the camera. The announcer shares some statistics and talks about how so many health care professionals already provide their services free of charge to those without insurance coverage.

Then, for some totally inexplicable reason, all of these people in white coats and scrubs hold up the listening-end of a stethoscope to their mouths and pretend to talk into them. What the hell? Not only does this look stupid, but I'm not even sure a stethoscope can be used to "talk" to someone. Besides, the ear pieces are obviously just hanging down in front of each person, so they aren't plugged in to anyone's ears anyway.

I can only wonder what moron came up with this idea, but more importantly, why anyone went along with it. It takes a very serious, powerful commercial and turns it into a farce. It's something you'd expect to see a lame comedian do in a "doctor's office sketch." It's totally out of place, wrong and makes a mockery of this important issue.

Why are marketers such idiots?

Applebee's Has Lost It

Just when you thought television advertising couldn't get any worse...

The current Applebee's television campaign is absurd. The bouncing apple that speaks like Wanda Sykes is ridiculous, but they keep running it. Well, the latest variation is completely over the top and proves to me that the marketers at Applebee's are total morons.

The latest incantation has a video crew showing up at the apple's house. Sort of an MTV "Crib" kind of thing I suppose. For some reason the apple lives in a very nice house that is much more suitable for a human. It points out a very modern hanging chair that it picked out a then bounces on the bed with red apple cushions. Again, I don't know why an apple needs such a large sleeping spot. The crew then asks about the kitchen and the apple responds that it doesn't need one because it eats all of its meals, of course, at Applebee's.

I know I'm being awfully literal here, but how does an apple eat?

This whole campaign is just too moronic for words. I wonder if the advertising executives at Applebee's sit around congratulating themselves on their collective genius. They should hang their heads in shame, but I'm sure they are much to stupid to realize how stupid they are.

I'm embarrassed for them.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Golden Globes - A HUGE Embarrassement

I'm watching the Golden Globes Awards "show" on CNN. OK, I know the writers are on strike and this format of simply having entertainment show hosts read the list of nominees and then announce the winner is a concession to the Guild. But it seems brains have gone on strike too. This has got to be the most amateurly produced television show that has ever appeared!

First of all, the show hosts keep trying to be clever and witty - without the help of a professional writer - and it's obvious that they are really nothing more than teleprompter readers. A few of them simply did what they were up there to do - Brooke Anderson for example. Classy and pretty. Mary Hart was embarrassing beyond belief. Giulianna Rancic tried to make a solidarity comment about the strike that just came off as moronic. But at least these people could pronounce the names correctly, so all in all this wasn't a bad move.

Next, following each list of nominees the host would say, "And the winner is..." and it sounded like someone was drumming on a table nearby to create that moment of anticipation and tension before the winner's name is read. The musicians aren't on strike. Sound technicians aren't on strike. Nor are the technical directors. So why they would add something so rankly amateur is beyond me. Maybe their goal was to make the presentation as bad as possible so we'd more likely believe the need for writers. No, that can't be it. Someone just had a bad idea and it was poorly executed.

Another ongoing embarrassment is the way they try to show a clip of the winner, but the host starts reading the next award before the clip is done. Again, the technical people aren't on strike. Maybe they refused to cross the picket line and the Hollywood Foreign Press had members of the local middle school's AV Club produce the program.

But the singularly most horrendous part of the show is Larry King. For some reason he had an open microphone and would chime in whenever he felt it appropriate with some enlightening comment such as, "This was a great film." Or, "I'm surprised this won." "A rough category." "You should go see this if you haven't already." And each of these comments is made while the audio from the clip is playing and the host is starting to read the next list of nominees, so you've got three pieces of competing audio going on simultaneously. Painful.

The show was a travesty and everyone involved with it should find a different profession. The Foreign Press are yet another victim of the WGA, but anyone with the least knowledge of television production could have done a better job than what they slapped together tonight.

Monday, January 7, 2008

NBC News Scraping Bottom of the Barrel

I typically don't watch The Today Show on NBC. I really don't know why I happened to catch a few minutes of it today. But in a way, I'm glad I did. It reminded me why I avoid this and the other "mainstream" media at all costs!

Matt Lauer, who actually sometimes serves as a real journalist instead of merely playing one on TV, interviewed a man by the name of Paul Karason. Mr. Karason's skin has turned blue! Now, if this was some freak of nature as a result of an ultra-rare condition, then I can see the human-interest appeal of the story. But this guy's skin is blue because he has been systematically poisoning himself with silver for the past 10 years. He decided to self-medicate himself for a completely unrelated skin disorder, and decided to continue because it seemed to help with his sinuses and arthritis.

The thing is, he's a moron. And for The Today Show to put him on the air shows just how far from journalistic integrity they have drifted - if they ever were even there. There are wars all over the planet. There is a major political election in less than a year. The economy is in shambles. The weather is out of control. And they put on an ignorant, back-woods jerk who drinks silver because it makes him feel good.

If you'd like to watch this pathetic interview, in which Lauer had to answer most of his own questions because Mr. Karason is so inarticulate that he can't do it himself, go right ahead and click here.

(I'm not even going to comment on Karason's sorry excuse for a "girlfriend." I can only assume she is even dumber than "Papa Smurf.")

And oh yeah, NBC gave this story enough credence that they included their chief medical editor, Dr. Nancy Snyderman in the studio. Basically she was there to say that no medical practitioner in his or her right mind would prescribe this treatment, that Karason is killing himself and under no circumstances should you try this on yourself.

Nice reporting, NBC. Real top-notch journalism!

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Deal or No Deal - Greed Wins Again!


I've written about the TV show Deal or No Deal before. How it has become very predictable and how people's greed always gets the better of them.

Well, tonight was classic. A woman just set a new record by winning a penny. Yep, one cent! At one point the offer was $207,000! But she said, "no deal" because she's is greedy, but more importantly, because the idiots who she brought with her are even stupider and greedier than she is. Her poor husband sat in the crowd and keep telling her to take the deals, but her stupid hick father, some dork "business partner" and her personal trainer (?) kept telling her to keep going.

The thing that is really hard to understand is that in this game they had THREE million dollar cases in play. The odds of getting a penny out of all of this is almost impossible to calculate. But when you're a dumb-ass pig farmer, like she is, I guess it's easy to totally screw it up. Why would she turn down $207,000? Aw, but it's OK. She got hugs at the end. She "set a record." She got to be on national TV and show the entire country how dumb breathing pig shit makes you.

She got what she deserved.