Marketers Are Idiots - Applebee's Edition

Sometimes marketing concepts and campaigns are so lame, I truly wish I could have sat in on the creative presentation by the agency. The current Applebee's television campaign is one I would have loved to have experienced.

Agency: OK, here's the concept for our new television campaign. We have a hip, urban black guy sitting on a park bench texting someone on his phone.

Applebee's Idiot: Great. Urban blacks avoid us like the plague. This will certainly make them want to eat at an Applebee's and travel 20 miles to get there!

Agency: And on the back of the bench there's an apple.

Applebee's Idiot: Oh wow...a red apple, right? That will make people think of us because the word "apple" in part of our name. Brilliant!

Agency: And the apple kind of bounces up and down while we hear it speaking to the guy.

Applebee's Idiot: Bouncing...good. That's what an apple would do if it was talking. What does it sound like?

Agency: Well, like Wanda Sykes.

Applebee's Idiot: Oh, I love her...and she's black too, right? She is black, isn't she?

Agency: Yes, and she tells the guy he shouldn't be sitting on a bench all alone but should be at a restaurant with friends.

Applebee's Idiot: And so we then see him at an Applebee's, right? With some other urban black people? But can we have some white people too? And a woman? Could she maybe be Hispanic?

Agency: Yes, and the apple is now on the back of the booth and continues talking to him.

Applebee's Idiot: And it still sounds like Wanda Sykes? And it still just kind of bounces up and down? That's what apples do when they talk!

Agency: You got it!

Applebee's Idiot: Sounds good to me! How much money do you need? This will be great!

Of course I hope the Agency Guy did his best to actually create and present something that isn't so incredibly lame and that the bouncing, talking, Wanda Sykes apple was all the client's idea...but I know better. The agency's brilliant, new 20-something recent college graduate intern was given the job of coming up with something breakthrough, but when he found out he couldn't feature a clown, the bouncing apple came into his head.

There is so much wrong with this campaign that it's actually hard to comment on it. If you want Wanda Sykes as your spokesperson - not a bad idea - don't just put her voice into a bouncing apple. And about that bouncing apple...WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Did you feed it peanut butter so it looked like it was talking?

For all the good this campaign is going to do Applebee's they should give the money to charity and at least get some good PR instead of the ridicule this pathetic, desperate attempt at television advertising is going to gain them. What a total waste! The people in marketing at Applebee's are idiots. This is proof positive!